#5913755: Today, I learned that being a twin really isn’t that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says, “It’s not mine.” Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML.

#180216693: Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML.

#15896173: Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML.

Magical?!?

Haha well thank you, I’m glad it’s making you laugh! :)

#14968643: Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I’m a guy. FML.

Thank you! <3

And lol they’re kind of time consuming but I’LL DO MY BEST. :D

#4945684: Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real lightsabers. FML.

#16258570: Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather’s driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML.

Just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who’s been checking out this blog, liking, reblogging, and following. I’m new to tumblr and honestly didn’t expect so much feedback this soon, so I feel really honored. You guys are awesome!

If any of these have made you laugh or even smile, then I feel like I’m doing my job…lol. :)

Also, I’m thinking of opening this up for submissions in the future so that people can make their own FMLs. Would y’all like that? Let me know if you’d be interested, or if you have any other questions, comments, requests or suggestions. Thanks again everyone!

Love,

B

#18995010: Today, it was the fifth night in a row I’ve dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about 3 times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face while sleeping. FML.

#19018819: Today, I had to explain to this really intimidating girl that I wasn’t giving her a dirty look, and that it was just my face at rest. FML.

#1968718: Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won’t be going on a date again because I didn’t know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek. FML.

You guys are too nice!!

But I’m glad you like it. :)

:D

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